“People are frugal in guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to squandering time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.”
If you are short on time here´s a quick summary:
Wasting time is okay if it helps you recharge, reflect and renew yourself. But wasting too much time will lead to discomfort, frustration or even disgust of letting too many things slip away in life. There are 6 things to avoid that will immensely benefit your life if you stick to them.
- Complaining as a habit
- Forgetting you only live for a short time
- Pouring time down the drain
- Allowing distractions to drain your energy
- Letting your emotions dominate you
- Not seeking meaning and purpose
Complaining as a bad habit is corrosive to staying open-minded and in turn having sufficient perspective. That’s critical because perspective helps people growth, evolve and develop.
It’s easy to forget the basics of Nature. That like every species on the planet we live and if we are lucky we live a long life, and then we die. Time runs out and normally when we least expect.
Like all financial investments it’s easy not to properly assess the risk of a poor return of investment. In the case of wasting too much time, the return on investment is of an unlived life because time isn´t being used to really focus on the things or people that really matter to you.
If you find something or someone constantly distracting you and it being a downer on your energy, you’ll want to think about how to handle things and stop this becoming the norm.
Emotions creep up on us and influence us to take decisions or behave in ways that can send us off track, waste time or not appreciate the shortness of life.
Being busy is not the same as really living. Productivity is not by itself the same as living well. Though being productive and making use of your skills is critical to attempting to live well. Having a busy life does not mean you are really experiencing life.
FULL ARTICLE
One of the common themes many of my clients want help with is how to stop wasting time.
The obvious benefit is so they can be more productive.
However, by the time clients are ready for coaching to tackle this problem, the biggest motivation is not just about getting more stuff done.
The deeper motivation is normally about wanting to stop the discomfort, frustration or even disgust of letting too many things slip away in life because they haven´t been able to focus on their goals in a serious or consistent way. They are ready to explore seriously about getting the clarity needed, prioritising and creating the commitment needed to move things forward.
It´s easy to waste time. Many of us can do it without even realising it. That includes people who are pretty disciplined about managing their time and trying to make the most of it – life coaches included!
There´s a lot of advice out there from some productivity gurus that is both confusing and I think fantastical. People aren´t robots and we are subject to our moods, emotions, circumstances, and whatever electrochemical activity is going on in our brain. It´s also good to waste a bit of time, if it helps you recharge, reflect and renew yourself. It´s good for your mind and your health.
But, what all this advice is right to focus on is that wasting too much time is a really serious matter in life, because as the cliché goes, you only live once. You can waste time mindlessly or even through deliberately avoiding action by procrastinating, perfectionism or not wanting to step out of your comfort zone.
It´s an age-old problem that was also a hot topic back in ancient times. Philosophers like Seneca were also reflecting on the question of how to make the most of time and of life. Recently,
I´ve been revisiting a letter he wrote about this and reflecting on it. I´d recommend reading it if you find 15 minutes. It might spark some insights for you.
Avoid these 6 behaviours
Seneca, who was a Stoic, was no angel and no stranger to temptations or distractions. Perhaps that is what also makes his letter, ‘On The Shortness of Life’ very relatable advice on why it´s important and easier than you think to make the most of your time and live in a more fulfilled way.
In this letter to his friend, he tries to point out some behaviours he believed distracts people from really focusing on making the most of the time they have and living in a way that brings value to them and to others. These behaviours are obstacles to people´s ability to get clarity over what´s really important, hamper their ability to make good choices and disrupt efforts to be committed and consistent. They are often of our own making. There are 6 principles I´ve focused on below that you might find helpful to reflect on. These are:
- Complaining as a habit
- Forgetting you only live for a short time
- Pouring time down the drain
- Allowing distractions to drain your energy
- Letting your emotions dominate you
- Not seeking meaning and purpose
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COMPLAINING AS A HABIT
Complaining was one behaviour Seneca was very critical of and he stresses it´s something to really avoid. He argued that complaining is such an easy thing to do but people don´t take enough account of the negative impact it has on their mind.
Seneca notes when we complain, we do so “bitterly”. He wrote, “The greater part of mankind…complains bitterly about the malice of Nature…”.
It´s true. To take a trivial example, whenever I go out for dinner at a new restaurant I like to look at the reviews (good and bad). A lot of the time, I must admit I laugh at the bad reviews because most of them complain about the silliest things. Even when reading those kinds of reviews, I can feel the bitterness and venom of the reviewer!
You might know someone in your life who has a bad habit of complaining, whining or moaning about every little thing. I bet it doesn´t help you feel good, energetic or positive! It´s ok to complain about something that is serious enough to matter. Even to let off a little steam. But, imagine if you spend every day complaining about something that probably doesn´t really matter.
You could spend time from your day complaining about everything that apparently is not going right, instead of appreciating what has and is going ok.
I think all the bitterness that comes from complaining and moaning is reflected in the way a person views the world and their attitude to life as well.
In turn, that will impact the actions and choices a person makes.
Complaining as a bad habit is corrosive to staying open-minded and in turn having sufficient perspective. That’s critical because perspective helps people growth, evolve and develop.
Unnecessary complaining drains your vitality physically and mentally. It dulls your energy. Bitterness blunts your ability to try and think clearly and objectively. Often we may not even be sure what or who we are complaining about – but we will do it anyway. Every complaint needs an object and a subject to fix its bitter focus on and if complaining is a habit, you don´t leave much room for objectivity and contentment. Your default mode will be to seek out what could go wrong.
FORGETTING YOU ONLY LIVE FOR A SHORT TIME
The whole long story of the physical universe and Nature has been one long tale of constant change. We are here in this spot of the cosmos because at some point something changed and shifted. By some amazing combination of circumstances our planet was born out of that colossal and boundless space. Even then, change didn’t stop there. The history of planet Earth has had so many chapters and unexpected twists and turns to reach this point.
Luckily, on this “pale blue dot” as Carl Sagan put it, that includes the existence of our own species. A body, a mind, a sense of self, high intelligence, awareness and consciousness. We could easily so not have happened. That we did is a major miracle. When you think about that deeply enough, being alive is something truly amazing. Sometimes in this hyper-modern life we forget that for all the outstanding, technological progress we’ve made and all the progress to come, our species is and always remains part of Nature.
It’s easy to forget the basics of Nature. That like every species on the planet we live and if we are lucky we live a long life, and then we die. Time runs out and normally when we least expect.
Expanding on the quote above, Seneca wrote in full “The greater part of mankind, Paulinus, complains bitterly about the malice of Nature, in that we burn for a brief span of life, and even this allotted time rushes by so swiftly, so speedily, that with very few exceptions all find themselves abandoned by life just when they are preparing themselves to live…why do we complain about Nature? She has proved herself generous: life is long, if only you knew how to use it.”
Opportunities escape us and slip through our fingertips. We suppose Life will continue to provide another chance to go for that dream. That isn’t always the way it turns out though.
Time is not always on your side and at any point the same forces that the rest of Nature is subject to – of change, growth, decay, of randomness – also impact your life. So, appreciating that despite all the wonderful things the human species can do, this is an inescapable characteristic we share with the rest of Nature is a great everyday reminder that life really can be terribly short. If you get to the end of the day give gratitude you are alive, but even more if you´ve managed to make it a great day!
POURING TIME DOWN THE DRAIN
As Benjamin Franklin said, “You may delay, but Time will not.”
One huge mistake everyone makes at some point in life is to think that time is inexhaustible. That time is never going to run out and it is an unlimited resource. This can deter you from focusing on walking your path and making the most of the little time you have.
We falsely believe “there is all the time in the world” to pursue a dream or create a way of life that reflects the things we most want to achieve. It’s not that you don’t want to take action to make things a reality, but you can waste the opportunity to do so by using the idea of time as a comfort blanket, saying (“there is more than enough time” to do something) rather than using the fact that it is limited as an incentive to get moving.
And just like money in our bank account you can waste it instead of choosing to invest your time in something good that supports your growth and more positive experiences in life.
However, as Seneca points out, “It is not that we have a brief length of time to live, but that we squander a great deal of that time. Life is sufficiently long and has been granted with enough generosity for us to accomplish the greatest things, provided that in its entirety it is well invested.” Time is our most precious and finite resource, though a resource we can fail to invest in properly and make the most of, even though the rewards can be life-changing.
Seneca makes the point that how and what you invest your time in makes a big difference to the quality of your life, “…just as great and princely wealth, when it falls it the hands of a bad owner, is squandered in a moment, while wealth that is by no means great, if it becomes the property of a good guardian, grows by use, so our span of life has ample measure for one who manages it properly.”
Like all financial investments it’s easy not to properly assess the risk of a poor return of investment of your time. In the case of wasting too much time, the return on investment is of an unlived life because time isn´t being used to really focus on the things or people that really matter to you. The next time you are tempted to waste too much time on stuff you know really isn’t helping you move forward – try to remember what the long-term cost of this could be.
ALLOWING DISTRACTIONS TO DRAIN YOUR ENERGY
Every day there are plenty of things that come along, and if you give them a chance, can drain your energy – emotionally, physically and mentally and spiritually. Seneca said, “We are besieged by vices that encircle us, preventing us from rising up or lifting or eyes to contemplate the truth, and keeping us down once they have overwhelmed us, our attention fixed on lust.”
Sometimes these are self-inflicted. Sometimes these are just unavoidable consequences of things beyond your control. Sometimes it’s people who come with all kinds of unnecessary problems and dramas that you get sucked into. Sometimes you can better handle all of these situations and can respond with some awareness, clarity and determination to stay focused. But, at other times you don’t.
It’s the times when you don’t pay attention to what is a distraction that you need to pay more attention and stay aware, so that you don’t let distractions steal your energy. Also, if you find something or someone constantly distracting you and it being a downer on your energy, you’ll want to think about how to handle things and stop this becoming the norm. It’s better to resolve this quickly instead of increasing the chances that you’ll end up being distracted again and again and again.
Seneca wrote, “never are these prisoners allowed to return to their proper selves; if ever they chance to find some measure of release, like the deep sea whose waters continue to heave even after the wind has subsided, they toss and turn, and find no respite from their lusts.” Which kind of means whatever keeps distracting you will be back to have another go until you get sort it out.
And by lusts Seneca isn’t referring to lust solely in the physical sense of the word. For example, he refers to ambition that has no purpose, which means you suck up to others in the hope of some recognition and advancement; he talks about envy of what others have, greed and complaining about what you don´t have.
He makes the point that these things we devote energy to will lead to a waste of energy and potential because the focus is not on making the most of life in front of you, but of trying to imagine your life is something else. But focusing on how you´ve ended up wasting your own time or finding yourself in situations that lead to this is crucial to have a different future.
Too much impatience and frustration. The unnecessary negative comment. The thoughtless lapse into judgement of others. Catastrophizing about things that might not be as bad as you think. Concentrating on what you don’t have instead of what you do have and all the good things life is offering right now, all around you.
Little by little your energy leaks and drains when you get caught on the hook of worrying too much about the future or what you don´t have. Like a fish that is caught on the hook where it bites the bait, it wriggles with ever more energy to free itself, getting more and more hooked.
When you get caught on the hook – relax, try to relax, instead of pouring more energy into thoughts and actions that are keeping you hooked, bring yourself back into the here and today.
LETTING YOUR EMOTIONS DOMINATE YOU
This is the hardest since we are not robots and even the most stoic of us will be swayed and rocked by daily moods and emotions. Emotions creep up on us and influence us to take decisions or behave in ways that can send us off track, waste time or not appreciate the shortness of life.
Controlling emotions, in my experience, doesn’t come trying to force yourself not to act in a certain way or not to allow yourself to feel something.
Acceptance of your emotions in a way that’s compassionate is a first step. Working hard to understand your emotions is better in the long run. Subjectivity brings colour and passion in life, but a good measure of objectivity is critical as well. The trigger points that swing you from one state of mind to another. The way anxieties draw optimism or energy from you. Memories from the past that weigh down your thoughts and bring heaviness into your heart. Imaginary injustices you think are happening to you because of what someone said or did. It’s easy to swing through life without giving enough thought as to how your emotions drive you or govern your choices.
Judgement of other people and comparison of yourself to others is one of the things we all fall into doing. This normally happens without question from an early age and can be something you habitually do for the rest of your life. We judge ourselves, we judge others, we compare our supposed failings to others, their failings to ours, their strengths and weaknesses to other people, our own strength and weaknesses to theirs, the quality and significance of our life to how other people live, what they have, who they are, where they come from, what they want to do. The list is endless.
A great man does not waste time, Seneca writes, “only a great man…will not allow anything to be stolen from his span of time, and his life is very long precisely because he devoted to himself entirely any time that became available.”
What makes this focus on not allowing things to steal your time a great thing?
I think it´s because of the effort, focus and determination needed to achieve this. It’s also about the discipline that’s needed so that trying to make the best use of your time becomes natural and you build a great habit.
Seneca goes on, “…none of it lay uncultivated and idle, none was under another man’s control, for guarding it most jealousy, he found nothing worth exchanging for his own precious time.”
NOT SEEKING MEANING AND PURPOSE
If Monday to Friday feels like a burden, but Saturday and Sunday is what you look forward to – then that’s a problem in the long term. I remember a poll that the Pew Research Center carried out in 2021 asking 20,000 people across 17 countries what made their life meaningful. One of the conclusions was that people found most meaning in their connection to other people (“family, romantic partners, friends, community, and pets can all make life more meaningful” the poll found).
Seneca makes the point that being busy is not the same as really living. Productivity is not by itself the same as living well. Though being productive and making use of your skills is critical to attempting to live well. Having a busy life does not mean you are really experiencing life. Busyness can distract you from having to deal with life’s realities or how you really feel as you can ignore this through constant activity. He wrote, “The mind, stretched in different directions, takes in nothing at any depth…Nothing concerns the busy man less than the business of living: nothing is so difficult to learn.
Meaning and significance are vital in life. I’d even go so far as to say having a productive meaning in life will help keep you alive, healthy and sane.
Fulfilment doesn´t just happen in life – it’s something you must work for, but at least it’s better to pour yourself into busyness with a real purpose, a real point and not just being busy with things that aren´t really making a good use of your time.
We can be busy working hard to attain something we think is important, but does it really have value. Is it of more value than the value of really living? Just as important is not to be busy for the sake of pleasing other people. You´ve got to put yourself and your needs first as well, even if that can be uncomfortable. Seneca writes, “the condition of all men who are busy with other things is wretched, but most wretched is that of men who are busy themselves energetically in pursuits that are not even their own, who sleep to suit another’s pace, who feel love and hatred – the freest of all emotions – at another’s bidding. If these men want to know how brief their life is, let them consider how small a part of it belongs to them.”
Everyone has their own needs and aspirations in life, and it not only takes money, hard work and a little luck to make things real, it also requires time. Prioritising your own interests at times, saying “sorry… can’t…no,” is not being self-absorbed, it’s self-respect because you realise your life is as important as those around you. Making proper use of your time and treating your needs as equal at times forces you to make a choice for yourself. Otherwise, if you spend your life making time for everyone else, it’s like taking your limited and precious resource.
WHAT TO DO NEXT?
If you’d like to make a change in your own life and start going after the kind of life you really want, get in touch for a complimentary conversation.
As a coach, I’ll work with you to help you be more productive and make the best use of the time you have.
Still not sure. Take a few seconds to read what some clients have also said about me here.
Check out some other articles I’ve written that might help and don´t forget to subscribe to get new content and my newsletter with insights and tips direct to your inbox!
- Give yourself permission to live the life you want
- 3 Tips on HOW TO BE HAPPIER
- 4 Tips On Job Hunting And Handling Uncertainty
- Why Having A Life Purpose Helps You To Be Happier
If you’d like to make a change in your own life and start working on the kind of life you really want, get in touch for a complimentary conversation.
As a life coach and motivation coach, I’ll work with you to help you be more productive and make the best use of the time you have. I also focus on career coaching.
Finally, if you need independent advice as a leader, then leadership coaching is also available to help you with your strategic thinking and practice positive leadership.